Nostalgic...

Memories of Yester years... So many emotions... So many Sentiments.... Nostalgic.... This is just a passing phase... Have to be STRONG... Have to be STRONG

Was ransacking my house yesterday (",)... was lost in memories.... came across my priced possessions that I had stacked away in nook and corners of cupboards.... I saw my Second Standard score card.... my very first "attempts" at Sketches... test papers (where I scored the max).... Guitar notes... Huge collection of greeting cards and invitations (I never throw any of them away)... My attempt at writing a story... My Precious, Priceless possessions from my College days (You use your own imaginations for it...I am not seeding your thoughts... (",) )... My Half-A-Tonne collection of Comics... Ahhhh... those were the good ol' days... and above all the innocence that I had back then... am not very sure if the present generation will ever be able to enjoy the bliss of Innocence... I am a firm believer that You will have to have the knowledge of things only when you got to... any sooner... and you will miss the bliss of "not knowing" many aspects of life when you are actually "not supposed" to... (",).. What do you think... is innocence bliss??

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Should I ?

Why cant I be Self-Centric... Why should I bother about others when they dont care a damn about me, about us....Why do they think only about themselves...aren't we close to them....Are we not a part of each other, God's own creations....we are close...yet so far...Why do they want to gnaw at every bit of respect I have for them...why is my patience being tested.... Why do they want me to change the way I think.... Or...is it that they want to confront the other "me"...the "me" which I myself don't know...I am trying hard not to grow into someone I myself will hate....I want to be innocent...Why...Why...Why...Why can't they just keep out of my/our lives..If they are supposed to be like this...then Why am I not??...Why should I be any different...Havent we been created to be equal...to help each other...isn't that the reason HE linked our lives...Can't they see that I too have a life....Am I not fighting my own battles...Can't they realize that they are not the only ones fighting it out or Is it that they don't want to....

I dont want to change and I will not....I will not let you to change the way I think.....If I do then where is the difference....instead...I will be more strong...

I know it's very uncharacteristic of me to post something like this. It kind of built inside me...and I had to take it out....

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

My Sleeping-Princess

Here...I present before you the sleeping Princess and the heroine of the story I posted yesterday....the rose....Why...you aske...Well..It seems that the bandwidth on the server where I stored the picture has been exceeded...as a result of which they are unwilling to let me show off the picture I drew... lol.. (",) But there is always another way for the shrewd Techied Brain...and so...I've found another way to show off (",). Ok, Enjoy the picture.

Urs,
:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Etching....

Helpless
Vulnerable
Hope this is a dream…….. A disturbing one…….
Wishing it could have been better, here I am….
With her, feeling her soft cheek against mine, her sweet smell drowning me…………….

I was having a great evening, chit chatting with my friends.
Spending those last minutes with them, before they were destined to go elsewhere, to serve their purpose.
Then it happened.

He came and picked me up from the bunch….
His lips brushed my cheek, warm breath filling me……

Before I knew what’s happening around me…. He was holding me and mumbling words I couldn’t understand.
There she was….. walking towards us. The most beautiful lady I have seen.
Tall and slender, walking in, towards our table, with all the confidence, aware about all the attention she seems to be getting. Men. Women. Attention seemed no boundary.
Burgundy blouse, complementing her complexion. Beige skirt, brushing her knees, proud being wrapped around, most beautiful long legs.
Her shiny black hair, in a stylish cut….
Minimal jewellery and with no make up… she was looking gorgeous.

Made me wonder, but why did he bring me here? Next to this beauty… I am nothing…

But her sparkling eyes lost its lusture when she saw his expression. She knew the worst is going to hit her, when she saw the soul brooding look on his face.

He confessed to her that, there was someone else in his life and he needs to leave. Leave forever.

There she was holding me…..
Looking at me, with tear filled eyes.
A drop of water, of the shredded heart, fell on me from her moist eyes.

“What have I done?”
“Please, don’t let him go away from me….” She pleaded to me….
Unable to do anything, apart from hear her, I was feeling helpless.

Why has fate destined me to be a parting exchange, this time?
Why wasn’t he giving me to show his love that he would be there for her, always?
Why wasn't the tear dropped on me because of happiness?

I don’t mind withering in her frail hands…. But, wishing he would choose to stay with her. Forever.

Feeling her soft cheek against mine, her sweet smell drowning me, I was looking at her as she closed her eyes, as if not to let him go away from her. Forever.

Those words were so wonderful that I was not able to resist myself posting them on my blog to compliment my sketch.

*Edit* I am adding this sentence because some of the readers did not understand the theme of the story.

The story is actually narrated by the rose. The lover picks the rose from a bunch and hands it over to his love as a parting gift.

Now read the story again and it will make more sense....and one more thing...rotate the picture "AntiClockwise" to get the meaning correct....

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

....How I wonder what you are (",)

oh yeah....more star gazing....and just looooved it. So many winking at me...as if they existed to impress me and me alone. I was just lost in deep thoughts seeing them...Will there be someone else in this world...at this very moment... just like me ....having the same thoughts as mine... and longing to meet that person from her dreams.....Uh ooooh... I have said too much.... rrrrrrrriiiippp...

*Zipped my mouth*... (",)

Now, that was a face of mine that I was not supposed to reveal...hee hee... thats ok..I am sharing it only with you...(",) Anyway, what happened was this...I left office early (again), but this time myself along with my roomies went to the Besant Nagar beach. We were afraid that it would be too crowded with couples and people coming for their daily walk... But thank God, that was not the case.. The beach was very thinly populated. We had Pani poori at a stall and then had our dinner at a Restaurant. Was not able to eat much *sigh*...and in addition, I am supposed to be on a diet (Note: "Supposed to be", but am not...hee hee (",) Dont u tell that to my Doc...OK...Deal...Else he'll fry me until all the extra calories burn...Ok ok...that was Gross, I accept...)

After the dinner, I got myself a T-Shirt...a Brownish - greenish - blackish sort of a color... (am still guessing the actual color). And then we went to the beach and sat in the middle of No-mans land. We all had a hearty chat..and me started Star gazing...and I did not dare to enlighten everyone with my "Constellation" Knowledge... For the love of my life...I didnt want myself to be beaten to pulp. yeah..yeah.. I am a Black belt in karatheand stuff..I know...but 5 against one...Dont you think that it is a "whhheee" bit too much... Ok...great day... see ya tomorrow

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Twinkle twinkle little star

Y'day...I went home earlier than usual....to find my Appartment locked...and I didnt have any key.... *sigh*... was locked out...I didnt have the keys. My roomies (5 of them) who were supposed to be there around that time did not turn up. Now, there is no bond that they should be there...but they have to be there na... So, this was my condition...locked out...No vehicle... No place to go... No nothing... :(
So, I along with one of my roomies (who was "supposed" to be having a key) who just turned up went up to the terrace. Goodness..there was a sight which I had missed for so many months... the twinkling stars in the dark sky...was so beautiful to look at. I am not able to realize what makes them so pretty. After all, they are just tiny little twinkling dots stuck up there...high above...in a dark blanket... but still.... they were so pretty to look.. I kept on staring... I started to explain the constellations to my roomie...but he was not interested.... *sigh* 5 minutes of Fame lost... He started fondling with my Cell and I kept on Gazing at those lovely little tiny spots winking at me... (",). Half an hour later, our saviour came and after a short Verbal fight we entered the App. Ghosh...I have do that again.... Even the stars winking at me drives me crazy.... (",)

Urs,
:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

CAUTION !! Techie post ahead...

Hmmmm... Its been a while since I wrote a "Techie" post now. And I think it would be very romantic if I wrote it today. It would have been more romantic had I written it y'day...(Can U now see why Mr.Cupid is scared of me (",) ). Anyways, I just happened to bump into this wonderful site (The amount of wonder depends on the height of "geek"-ity U possess... Dont scratch ur head, its a made up word). Its this site where u can actually create/edit Animated Gifs and all... U can even create cute little 3-D banners for urself...yeah...cute little tool it is....

All is well that ends well... ????? Y did I say that... dunno...might have read it in one of the numerous blogs that I was reading all day. Just wanted to say and so I did. OK, I see I am getting nowhere.. Let me stop here..Go ahead and enjoy the site....If you are in a corporate Company..just hope it wont be Web 'Non' Sensed.

Chou....

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Its V-day (",)

Yo..all you Love Birds out there... (",) How did the day go? How many of you went screaming behind girls.... (I'm assuming Girls wuld be more civilized (",) )...

Ahhhh, Nothing special from my side apart from sighing that there weren't any cupids fluttering behind me to hurt my behind...hee hee...U get it... "Behind me to hurt my behind"..hee hee...bad joke,eh... ok..forget it. Anyways, nothing special here. Just another day. But, I 've always wanted to have one of those candle light dinners like they show in those movies (Man,...those heros get all the good looking girls.. I wonder there will ever be any "not-so good looking" hero and a absolutely charming and the cutest Girlfriend. Now, that's a movie that I would love to watch...U know..more "Adventurous" kinda stuff). Ok enough of dreaming..... so, u guys got any candle light dinner or moon light walking stuff... If ur answer was a "Yes" then I envy you...if "no" ....welcome to my world...the world of techie geeks where u sweat even if someone half as cute as the side actress in movies smiles at you....

ok then....See ya later... Happy Valentining...now...is that even a word....Damn.... where is a dictionary when u need one.... Ok...see ya next time around..Bye

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

By far the Cutest Pic I've seen..

Hey Folks....I am off to my native once again to spend my weekend... See u all on Monday...

Au Revoir

Urs,
:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

I did it again...

Ever had the feeling that u are absoultely Cent percent right abt something, only for it to strike right back to u and prove u wrong. Well, it happened to me today...and it got me right where it hurt....God, I never seem to learn from my mistakes. I dunno when someone is going to drive some sense into my over cooked "Techie" brain. Well...someone has to it, else, one fine day my brain is gonna stop churning and I am going to fall straight on my Nose... :BAM:...and then I will have a 'X' for an eye like they show on one of those Cartoons. Boooohooo......

Dont stare at me,...I ll tell u what went wrong today. U remember my second post ?....Yeah...the one where I told U how my over cooked Gray Matter thought that Blogspot was buggy. Well.. now, this same....stupid...idiotic....use for nothing....brain (I hope there is infact something called a Brain in my Anatomy) of mine did the same thing all over.....AGAIN....only this time, the scope was still more large.....I actually thought that PeopleSoft (Domain on which I am working on) is Buggy.... Boooohoooo....only to be later proven that I was completely wrong......When am I going to stop being "smarty pants" .... Boooohooo

Oh God....When am I going to learn ??

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Snappin'

Now,...... U do know how "down" I was feeling y'day, right....today I am in a completely different mood... I am all light-hearted and "bubbly"... (",). What brought about the change, u ask? Umm...It was a girl..., not like the one I was talking to u abt, but a 4 Year old girl, Joy Gruttman. She actually sang her way into my heart... (",)......Infact, as we speak.... millions and millions are getting enchanted by this 4 year old German. We all know that Germans are known for the strong "Manliness" in their Language....and U would certainly be hit by images of the Tiny Mouche.... (",); that of the one and only Hitler.Now, this little girl has taken those visions by its head and turned it completely around.... I am not making any sense, am I.... Well.. hold ur thoughts for now..... Tell me what you think once you hear this.

There....I can see that smile.....(",).. U know what, I have been listening to this song for almost 20 - 30 times...and still I am not able to control myself from tapping my feet and nodding my head. (",) I just love the song.. Here is a quote from a Website.....

The hottest thing in German music right now is a 4-year-old girl's made-up song about a crocodile. Joy Gruttman's song, "Snappy the Little Crocodile" ("Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil"), is the No. 1 song on the German charts. Her family posted the song on a Web site as a joke, but a radio station in Cologne, Germany, got hold of it and made it a hit. Gruttman is the youngest recording artist to make it to the German Top 10, let alone No. 1. "Snappy" beat out songs by Kylie Minogue and Linkin Park. The song is even appearing as remixes in German dance clubs.

Here is a link which has the Video and if you are really into Ringtone's, here is a site for you. Note that the later one has the lyrics for the whole song....and in case you want the translation, here is the same link with translation applied....with Google's Translation Tool.
Now...isnt that the sweetest song u've heard... (",). Until next time....chou....

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Not feeling so good :(

Hey,

I am not in high spirits today. Dont know why... Guess it is one of those days where you feel lost and nothing whatsoever seems to cheer u up (ummm....EXCEPTION - Someone reaaaaaaaaaaaalllly cute smiles at you, then u are altogether on a completely different Dimension... like walking on air and stuff like that...(",)).

Hmm...but that never happens to me. So, guess I have to live with the feeling for now. Now, I dont understand at all..... Why cant u just bail out of a feeling when you want to....after all...u do know that persisting in the same condition is not going to get you anywhere... Why should you keep thinking of the same thing over and over again... And You know what the worst is....all the feelings that you sweat out really hard to overcome comes trickling back to mess you even more... then you are in complete deep *^#%.... Are you getting what I am trying to say here.... ? mmmm...?I keep saying to myself... "Got to get over it....Got to get over it..." and I am going nowhere.... The only thing that is happening is getting even more damn depressed..... But, You know what, I have a couple of ways to over come (or "under come"...or "around come"... whatever) this.... I am going to go home...take a paper...pencil and do a sketch... I'm sure that'll take my mind off this....Yeah..thats what I am going to do... I'm going to hit this feeling right on its head... (",)....

So,... am just curious....whatever will you do when you happen to confront this situation.....

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

What's This !!!

Hey yo, (",)

How are u..? Mmmmm....Dont know what to write today, so here goes nothing....Crack this if U can....

• A pauper has this.
• The rich dont have this.
• This is worse than Death.
• This is Bigger than God Himself.
• This could satisfy anyone on the Earth.
• This enchants u more than love.
• This hurts u more than love.

So,....what's This...?? (",). Ummm...do u want me to give ya a hint.... mmmmmmm....naaa....Its an easy one...Let's see if u can crack it... (",)

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaah....

yup yup yup.....U guessed it right. I somehow managed to convince the fellow sitting on the other side of the Glass box (Counselar) that I would be of some use to the company if I travel onsite to the "US of A" and got my Visa stamped... yaaaaaaaaaay.... To tell u the truth, I was a real bundle of nerves out there. Goodness, I have never seen myself in more pathetic situation. I could not even speak properly. Words were just NOT coming ou my mouth.
The day started as usual, only difference was that I bunked office. (",) I had a very bad dream last night...so, I was just circling the room nervously not know what to do... I didnt want to do exercise...didnt want to brush ... bath... nothing... It was this feeling I just not able to explain. After a few dizzying circles I settled down and brushed my teeth. I waited till everyone left and had my bath. Then I sat down to memorize my Justification letters and stuff. It was tougher than I thought. I was so nervous that I could get the difference betwwen an Immigrant and an Emmigrant. (".)
somehow mugged up the whole lot of 8 pages (Now, thats a lot of pages considering that you are terribly out of touch from mugging and that you are in a rather edgy situation). Anyway, I mugged up the whole lot and around half past 12 I started getting ready for the Battle (what are u smiling at...yes it is a battle...). I turned around to see my " B R A N D N E W "Louis Phillipe" lying peacefully in a corner. I took it on my hands...ripped the cover off...pulled out all those damn pins they stick into that lovely piece of cloth and peeled of those lables. Apart from the ripping, pullling and peeling, I was very delicate to my shirt...after all 1000 bucks is a lot of money... I wore it and admired myself...(Dude, you make this shirt look good...hee hee...No I was not telling that.....just trying to make u think that I am handsome and stuff... (",) ).
Ok, I dressed up and looked outside the balcony and I was in shock to see that it was drizzling outside....(Me: Noooo...not today) As if the rain gods took pity on me, it stopped after some 2 minutes. I wanted to take a taxi to the Counselate..but ended up taking a bus...just for the heck of it.

Now, my appointment was at 3.30. But I reached the place at 1.45....u know...just in case....And to my surprise, they allowed me in (Guess they really wanted me to go to the US of A to develop their country...lol) Anyways, I was in. The interview is supposed to take place like this. You pay all the DD's and stuff and you are made to sit in a row of chairs. When your turn comes, your Number will be called out and you have to go to the counter specified. Since the rush was very thin, I was asked to straight away go to a counter. Now, I was actually looking forward to meet an American Guy and I was all prepared to answer his questions with my best possible American accent (To impress him...Hee hee)....and guess who I encountered....a fat...nose poking guy who had the nerve to make me wait while he happily poked his nose. He got all my documents...and three one by one back at me... Now I was boiling hot...For Heaven's sake, he even threw my Degree Certificate as if it was a piece of scrap or something.... if it were not for those menancing guards...I would have ripped him apart...or atleast give him a cold stare or something. Now, throwing the Degree certificate is one thing, now he threw even my visa application back at me. I was like ...."What the....Is this a joke or something...He has not even asked a single question"... Now he stared at me and said... "Go"... I was still standing there, perplexed, refusing to even bat an eyelid. Then he repeated "Go Inside"...and I still stood there... Only after a couple of seconds did I realize that the actual interview is yet to come.

So, I proceeded further inside and I came to this big room where there were close to 12 counters and everyone was looking tense inside...and I heard all kinds of American accents. aaaaaahhhh...so this is the Interview hall . I took one of the empty seats and waited for my turn. I was called out and I ran like crazy (I was still nervous). I didnt even bother to look around if anyone was staring me. And now, I took out the Justification letter and again went through it again...u know...like last minute revision that we used to do back in our school and college days. I started to look at the other counters. There was this one lady who rejected two applicants in a row... This made me still more nervous. (I think I am like this guy in Five Point Someone. The one who breaks down when it comes to facing a viva).

Soon my turn came and I was facing the interviewer.

Int: What's the Client's Name.

Me: 3M

Int: So, what are u going to do at HM...

Me: (HM...whats HM....I didnt say that...) Uh....3M, sir

Int: Ok, so what are you going to do there.

Me: We have finished Unit Testing.. We are going to System Testing.

Int: What are you going to do there ?

Me: (Is he deaf or something).. We are going to System tes.....

Int: Sir, Please tell me what exactly you are going to do?

Me: (Man, I am a gone case... @@*%^%#$ I am a gonner for sure...Anyway, I ll give it a try and vomit whatever I mugged up) Sir, I ll be getting the Design Docs from Client and give it to the Offshore. I ll get the doubts clarified, put forward by the offshore team, by the Business Users.....

Int: Pay your DD at counter No.1

Me: " :blank: "

Int: Take the receipt and pay ur DD at the counter...

Me: (Wow....did I just make it....Did I actually get the Visa.....)

Bewildered, I went to the counter, gave the DD, got the receipt, came out....and I still it has not got into me....Gues I ll beleive only when I get the stamped Passport in my hands...

Well...That was my day. Now, If you have really read the entire story....Hats off to you...I respect you... (",). See ya.... Great day.

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.:

Fingers Crossed

Hey there,

I am right now in a sort of "sitting on the edge of the seat" mood. Why?.... 'Coz I have my Visa Interview tomorrow. Now...hold on...don't jump into conclusions that I am going to jump onto one of those flying machines....mmmm...what do they call it...yeah... "AeroPlanes" and fly like a bird and stuff.

Actually, The management down here is making us guys travel ready so that they can chuck us out as soon as they get a Project. Mmmmm.... I am hoping for the best.... I am a liiiiiiiiiitllllle bit edgy right now. Just keeping my fingers crossed. Hope everything goes on fine and I get my Visa stamped.

Ok, then....leaving for the day now...got some shopping to do...(going to get myself a descent looking shirt... (",) )....after all I've got to impress the Counsel Officer; if not with my looks, atleast with my dressing sense. Hee hee....there ya go...You can see the nervousness in my writing, right.... Doesnt matter even if you dont... The fact is, I am going to attend an Visa Interview tomorrow....Yikes...... OK now....I've got to calm down....ok....hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm... There....I am relaxed now....Oh my god....Got to catch my Bus.....

OK....Great day...

Urs,

:.: Balakishnaraja :.: